Today’s headlines routinely borrow from the sci-fi pages of yesteryear. Once upon a time an author probably chuckled as he wrote about genetic engineered tapeworms that would allow gourmet food lovers in the far future to gorge as much as they want. Out to prove this wasn’t hare-brained speculation, are the Melbourne based biotechnology firm, Roboguts. ( Full product range available at

I’m curious – how do the Robogut tapeworms ‘work’ ?
In simple terms, one Robogut pill taken with a meal will neutralise any weight gain. Enjoy the taste without the calories!! And if you can’t choose between the lamb roast and the beef lasagne, why not have both and let Roboguts take care of it for you?

But how do Roboguts ‘take care of it’?
Wonderfully! Our tapeworms are genetically designed with a very limited life span, which usually means when they have finished your meal, they switch off, or are rendered benign.

What does it feel like to eat with Roboguts in your stomach?
The consumer wouldn’t feel anything different from their usual meal. Except of course they will be just as hungry at the end of the meal as they were at the start. Which means you can double the fun for your tastebuds, or fit that extra dessert in without any worries.

20 million Africans face the worst famine in a decade (see How can you justify developing Roboguts when so many have no food at all?
The miracle of biotechnology will end mass starvation in our lifetime, I kid you not. The benefits of projects like ours will eventually trickle down to those in need, and everybody will have abundant food to explore the delights of.

Aren’t you afraid people will be too squirmish to go for Roboguts?
Not at all. Why put up with petty limits? Our market research for Roboguts showed us that people are ready to take body modification to the next level, and will pay top dollar for biotechnology enhancements that put them more in control of their feelings, emotions and body processes. You know, people used to ‘see’ witches in the sky, but now they ‘see’ machines. I think we need to be aware of our attitudes to machines, accept their existence, and make them work for us. Who do you want to be today?

Have you heard about those giant worms in the tropics that grow up to a metre long inside you, then tunnel through your flesh to get out?

Yes, but our tapeworms are genetically programmed never to exceed a certain size, and really – they are more truthfully thought of as little robots.

Do you think that Roboguts might contribute to creating a divide between skinny=rich and obese=poor people?
That divide already exists. Those with a low income tend to have low nutrient diets high in fat and sugar – the standard fare of most burger franchises. Roboguts simply allows those with discerning tastebuds to enjoy even more of their good taste.

Inevitably the public will encounter some unusual side-effects. How do you see future of Roboguts?
Really, what we are doing isn’t that radical or dangerous, it’s simple science applied for the benefit of the consumer. We are confident about the safety of our products and hope to expand our Robogut weight-loss range in the near future.

Bon Appetit bunnies~!

(( doh-ski~! this was an interview done in ye olde times, transferred to skynoise just now and forgot to datestamp it in the prehistories… ))

(( + what a difference 2008 makes, as soon as it’s posted, the weightloss spam comes in… pingback on your post #425 “Robo-Guts”URI : http://blahblah… ))

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