Head to head this week in the war on terror, EVIL vs clip-art heroine, animated gif surrealist & all-round San Franciscan adventuress, 1 x Katie Bush. Print media cannot do justice to the twin blows she strikes for freedom at the stroboscopic browser batterers: destroyevil.com & lovekatie.com.
What’s evil about Katie?
There is nothing evil about katie! Evil creatures (such as evil women) act out of an insidious lack of compassion (especially with their vagina or their genitals). They do this for fun and for evil sport, or out of a vaginal duty to some evil deity or heinous master. It is sick and it is terrifying and it must be destroyed! Katie doesn’t participate in this type of naughty! Katie is the way, the truth and the life. On top of that… To be evil, you must be headquartered in the torrid caverns of red hell. My anonymous hotmail email address PROVES that I am not headquartered in that area. If you had done a little research before contacting me, you would know that geographical experts have produced a textbook that indicates that the earth’s INTERIOR consists of evil, non-righteous hell-fire … I live on the EXTERIOR of the earth and therefore have nothing to do with this!
What’s evil about webpages?
A website is a collection of information-like documents or ‘pages’ that can be viewed by handsome men and/or pretty ladies using calculation boxes known as ‘computers’. These calculation boxes are able to perform tasks (such as ‘sorting’ or ‘correlating’) typically associated with female office secretaries, but at FRIGHTENINGLY INHUMAN SPEEDS. Many researchers have proven that where there is frighteningly inhuman speed: there is evil! to prove this terrifying point, I took the liberty of lowering a penis-like device, known as a ‘microphone’ into the grotesque internals of my calculation box. Needless to say, Ii was shocked! Nothing I can do, nothing I can say, will ever erase the horror of audio-evil-hell I heard. it sent chills screaming through my soul. If evil is not real, then i am the most deceived lady in all the land.
Evil in Australia?
From what I can ascertain, the only thing evil about Australia is the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, his wife Terri Rains and their crocodile baby Bindi Sue.
Can you make an Australian reader piss their pants?
There is a bridge here in San Francisco. It is funny.
What per centage of Californians have RSI?
I don’t think I know what that is. But I am frightened. And I am pretty sure I have it. It itches all the time and when/IF I look at my vagina… I only see the RSI and I know that something is horribly, horribly wrong. (So I don’t look at it and I do not tell ANY of my sexual partners).
How’s California become a better place since Arnie got elected?
In every way a bronzed lady (such as myself) can imagine. Thank god Arnold Schwarzenegger was ‘elected’ to one of the most powerful positions in the world and innocent multi-national corporations like Enron can now go about their business in peace! Plus, it’z neat that he was in the movies! What would this patriarchal world have come to, if George Bush’s baseball buddies hadn’t been allowed to pillage.. I mean .. conduct unregulated laundering.. I mean business in the sunny state. As a consumer of things (go malls!), I was delighted that that silly-willy $9 BILLION lawsuit (brought on by the former/ousted Governor of California) against Enron and other oil-lovin’ businessmen was dropped the second Arnold was elected! On top of that.. it’z neat, ’cause he’s in movies! Hopefully those incriminating Enron memos between Kenneth Lay and the Terminator (awesome movie!) will stay in the dark where they belong! (www.ConsumerWatchdog.org) If a little Austrian boy can eventually make his way across an ocean to star in ‘Twins’ (Danny DeVito was initially reluctant to talk that role! what was he thinking!)…. he is surely qualified to run the world’s fifth largest economy.
If Animated Gifs were a super-hero, what’d their secret weapon be?
Animated Gifs ARE super-heros. I am not supposed to talk about it, but the only way you can tell if an animated Gif is a boy super-hero or a girl super-hero is by suddenly turning it upside down and looking at its 2-dimensional genitalia(s). (**WARNING***! They are normally reluctuant to SHOW YOU.. so you have to take them to a disgusting bar and use small doses of computerized horse tranquilizer). If the .gif file contains an animated penis: its secret weapon is quite often a frighteningly large ejaculatory pixel wand. If the .gif file contains a tube-like opening that extends from the labia minora to the uterus and is elastic enough to allow passage of an animated fetus: it is a girl super-hero and her secret weapon is that she can receive a penis during coitus.
Your 5 year GOAL for Destroying Evil?
To consume All/consumers.
>When websites have epitaphs, what’ll yours be?
Evil Quizzer Of The Week:
Q. What’s the difference between liberating the people of Iraq, and say Sudan or Rwanda?
A. Neither Sudan where thousands are currently being killed every week and up to 1 million people have been drive from their homes, or Rwanda where 800,000 people were killed in 1994 – have enough oilpipes feeding Uncle Sam’s engine.
Jurassic 5, Tortoise, Thievery Corporation, X-ecutioners, Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry or Danger Mouse aren’t down with that, and if you buy the “Genocide in Sudan” charity CD they feature on, you’ll be helping Sudanese people : http://waxploitation.com/html/sudan_news.html