How would u like it if I stick you in a jar half the size of u, glued ur ass to it and fed you thru tubes for the rest of ur life and use u for souvenirs? Thanks to a one-time profiling of the infamous ‘Bonsai Kittens(.com)‘, my inbox enjoys regular, almost weekly propositions from such clever cats. Given the diversity of this internet thing obviously makes it difficult to trust, forcing people to weigh up differing opinions, even make up their own minds, here’s a quick tour of duty through hoaxville.
This gets first mention because it’s the URL i find myself cutting and pasting for people most at the moment. Like many hoax sites the integrity and passion of the author can often overwhelm the reader, club them into a corner with statistics and convincingly persuade them to transform their ideas and beliefs. Thing is, unfortunately this site doesn’t seem like a hoax – it has a convincing range of supporting evidence – and remains provocative whether it’s overall premise is accurate or not. In fact, it makes the rest below seem like deckside amusements on the titanic. Organised into a succinct 5 page argument with embedded links, this one’ll be hard for you to forget. But first…
People Who Fall For Hoaxes (& Email me )
You can read more of such comments on the old way backmachine archive of my bonsai kitten piece ( bonsai kitten vs chunk 666 ), but here’s a sample of souls tortured for lack of access to a better list of hoax de-bunkers ( or a search engine, bless their weary fingers). Errors included to emphasise the passion and pain felt during writing:
“I’m so speechless it is so tasteless! omigod! u losers! piss off from the little defendless kittens!”
“Would you like us to shove you in bottles, you dirty ingrates?! Think about that. If you dont stop shoving kittens into bottles, i’ll find you and shove you into a bottle! ”
“Wot do u see wen u look in da mirror? when u introduce urself do u like da sound of ur name? hav u made ur mother proud? do u feel satisfied wen u look bk on ur life? i seriously think dat if u wud reply positively to ne of these questions, then u shud be shot. u r da sick twisted scum of the earth.”
“U no what soon there gonna start doin this to other animals like dogs and maybe even human babies. If i ever come across one of u guyz i would fuckin torture u till u fuckin died b cuz this is cruel and u wouldn’t like it if u were one of those animals. I hope all u guyz go to fuckin jail for the rest of ur lives and get fed thru a tube. U no what im gonna become a cop and do that just to u guyz b cuz thats what ur doin to them u FUCKLIN ASS HOLES!!!!”
“God made cats they way they are for a reson and it is wrong just to we shape the how would u like it if we shaped. you bonsai kitten hates are ass holes and and fuckers and all u bonsai kitten hates can go to hall and u guys are every word in the dook.”
“This is just sick. Even tho it is protrayed as a joke the faintest idea of bottling a cat to shape it is sick. You have no idea the kind of mutilation you are doing to cats. There is no reason a cat should be put in a bottle and be forced to grow into some abstract shape causing health problems and sever damage. Anyone who supports this in any way is beond sick, to sick for words.”
“Even tho it is protrayed as a joke the faintest idea of bottling a cat to shape it is sick. You have no idea the kind of mutilation you are doing to cats. There is no reason a cat should be put in a bottle and be forced to grow into some abstract shape causing health problems and sever damage. Anyone who supports this in any way is beond sick, to sick for words”
& Then there are the kitty-hoax aware who post comments such as :
“Thought you might like to know about how to make kitty milkshakes – detailed instructions here…. dare you not to click….
http://images.cavakillaz.com/PTK.htm ” – Cat Milkshake Maker
The Museum of Hoaxes
Here’s a site to end the pain of many kitten lovers, as well as those in doubt about whether the poor Nigerian businessman who needs a helping hand is in fact sincerely offering you a special deal in return for helping his innocent self and family. A few other hoax sites seem hoaxes themselves, mere database shells hoping to snare a few straying surfers such as skepticalskoundrels.com, which delivered the following Search Results for: bonsai kitten
” 1. EBay.com – Save Money and Buy Bonsai Kitten On Ebay! ”
www.urbanlegends.com is another comprehensively catalogued hoax debunker, however it’s search function doesn’t work and you have to sift through manually. Very large collection though. On the topic, the duckbilled platypus was originally deemed a hoax by scientists of the time, and although proven otherwise, it may well become one again given current numbers.